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To live-in or not to live-in?


It had been 3 years since he asked me out on our first date. After what seemed like an eternity of ups and downs, we had finally reached a stage where we both had a stable life. So of course, now it was time to finally have “the talk”- “where are we?” and “Where do we go from here?”


After thinking of every possible option, we realised the next best thing for our relationship was to move in together. I was beyond excited to finally live on my own terms with the person who I love and trust the most. This was a new phase of our lives and we couldn’t wait to go all in.


What I hadn’t really thought about were the consequences. Ah yes! reality came crashing in as soon as we started house-hunting. “Mummy papa jaante hain?” “Shaadi-shuda ho?” and what not. A lot of our friends and family weren’t exactly happy with our decision either. “Saath hi rehna hai toh shaadi karke raho.” And don’t even get me started on the neighbours. From the landlord to the doodhwala, everyone seemed to have an opinion on our living situation.


But we weren’t going to let the taunts and judgement from people around us change our decision. We were happy and that’s all that mattered. And thus, we finally found a decent place and started the next and may I say the most exciting chapter of our lives.


I woke up each morning with a smile on my face. There were butterflies and it felt like we fell for each other all over again. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t all rainbows and sunshine. We argued, bickered and disagreed on a lot of things. For instance, who in their right mind sets the alarm for 6 am on a Sunday morning? But at the end of the day, living together only helped us connect on a deeper level and rekindle our relationship.


Having him by my side made up for the good and bad aspects of live-in. Before committing long term, it gave us an opportunity to truly understand each other and what we wanted from our relationship. It gave us a chance to experience physical and emotional intimacy and truly become comfortable in each other’s presence.


Being in a live-in relationship was one of the wisest decisions I have made. Yes, we quarrel everyday about something or the other. But it’s the little things that make up for everything, like him watching a YouTube tutorial on ‘how to make ghar ki daal’ when I miss mummy ke haath ka khana or me pretending to be interested in his football games even though I understand nothing. Living together has not only helped our relationship but it has also helped us grow as individual beings.


It is about time that we as a society change our mindsets and put an end to the stigma around live-in relationships. The next step for a relationship is not always tying the knot. Living together might work for some and might not work for others, but at the end, this experience will help in giving an insight and perspective as to what you want from the relationship before committing for long term.


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