Recreational Virginity - Another Social Construct Winning Over People’s Insecurities!

Virginity has been classified as a symbol of purity of vulva owners for generations. The scenario is still pretty much the same, where families still choose to put all the burden of their dignities on the genitals of women of their household. In a world where catastrophic events are happening, people are still stuck whether their daughters and wives are ‘pure’ or not. This social construct is so deep rooted that even women of so many sections whether from well off families or not are afraid of ‘losing their virginities.’

Before we dive further, here’s a little context on virginity in case you still aren’t aware. A person’s virginity is detected by hymen, which is a teeny-tiny membranous tissue present outside the vaginal canal with no biological function (except for ruining people’s lives, oh wait, we have other people for that!). Hymen comes in various shapes and sizes. And it is so delicate that it can be disrupted during the most trivial activities, from cycling, to swimming or exercising.

Who are you going to condemn if it happens this way? Yourself, for existing?

However, what if you end up losing your virginity? Or What if you don’t bleed on your first night? Well don’t worry, the modern world has every solution for you. Presenting options one can choose from to ‘regain’ what they have ‘lost.’ Number one, Hymenoplasty. It is a clinical procedure of surgically sewing a busted hymen. Although these surgeries are pretty costly, can be risky and do not even guarantee if the person would bleed or not, people still choose to get them done for a safe side (sigh). Did the first option scare you? Don’t worry, the market is full of products to play out on people’s fears and insecurities. Next up is a wide range of capsules, membrane kits and combos which include tightening gels that are solely meant to restore the holy purity of your flower. To attract an audience from every age group, not just the ‘virgins’, these companies often advertise their products in every possible way- from a life saving miracle to a ‘virginity gift’ to your valentine.

This market that profits millions from ‘saving people from shame’ further ends up promoting harmful misinformation. Many women discreetly buy products or undergo surgeries to avoid any threat or physical harm if they fail to bleed due to any reason.

But if these products or details of surgery are discovered, won’t that put those same women at the risk of the same violence they were apparently being ‘protected’ from? Does this make the whole motto of these products of ‘keeping women safe’ futile? You know the answer well.

Even clinical examinations cannot guarantee if the person is a ‘virgin’ or not. Also, let's assume a person practically did nothing throughout their life before deciding to have sex. There is still a chance they may not bleed. Besides, WHO classifies virginity testing as a major human rights violation and an unethical practice.

If we think about it, the concept of recreational virginity is void itself. You see, there is nothing to recreate in the first place. We have said it before and we will say it again, virginity is a social construct and you lose nothing when you choose to have consensual sex for the first time. The whole concept of virginity is patriarchal and solely created to control women’s sexualities. Instead of falling prey to such products and fueling the fire, it is important to stand and speak up, even if it is difficult and even if no one is listening.

There is nothing wrong with having sex before or after marriage or never having sex at all. You don’t have to prove your worth and purity to anyone else.

If you’re convinced, can we please stop obsessing over virginities now please?