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What is Sex Positivity? Sex positivity is a simple term revolving around the idea that every individual should have a safe space to explore, learn and own their sexuality without any fear or judgment. In other words, it means to be comfortably vocal about sex and sexualities rather than hush about it and keep it under a veil of shame.
Let's discuss some of the most Frequently Asked Questions about sex positivity Ques - Why is Sex positivity important? Ans - The more people are provided with an open space to discuss and celebrate healthy and diverse sexual relationships, the easier it becomes for them to take the steering wheel of their sex life.
Ques - Can people be “sex negative”? Ans - Yes, it is definitely possible to be sex negative. Sex negativity is quite deep rooted in our society. You can be sexually active and still be sex negative.
Ques - How Do I Know If I am Sex Negative? Ans - When you think about sex and words such as ‘dirty’, ‘unholy’, ‘risky’, ‘harmful’ or ‘unnatural’ comes into your mind then maybe I have a bad news for you. In fact if you are not learning and constantly trying to become sex positive then take it as a sign that you are sex negative.
Some everyday examples may include-
Slut shaming and victim blaming
Disrespecting sex workers
Looking at sex education in a bad light
Disrespecting other gender spectrums
Purity pacts and believing in the ‘good girl’ and ‘bad girl’ notion
Ques - Do I have to be sexually active to be Sex Positive? Ans - Sex positivity has nothing to do with being sexually active. All you need is to have an open mind, and genuinely believe that people irrespective of genders can have consensual sex with whoever & however they want.
Ques - Does sex positivity apply to both genders?
Ans - There are more than two genders existing and yes, sex positivity implies on all the gender spectrums. One of the basic ideas of sex positivity is to smash society's point of view that there are only two genders existing- male and female.
Tips to Become Sex Positive
1. Educate yourself: learn from resources around you. There are plenty of sex-ed resources out there providing holistic conversation space revolving sex (including us 😉).
2. Talk to people around you: understanding experiences of people with different sexualities not only helps you to expand your horizons better but also brings you closer to your own sexuality. It's a win-win!
3. Speak candidly with people you're comfortable with: Don't shy away from a sex talk session. Grab a popcorn and get ready to hear some amazing experiences and lessons. Trust me on this one, it's pretty therapeutic.
4. Talk about Consent: There might be a possibility that even after being sexually active, you still might not be sure how you perceive consent. Take some time and analyse what it means to you. This will help you establish better boundaries.
5. Advocate for Sex Education: Most of us had friends, porn and awkward sex-ed classes as the sources of sex education which did nothing but leave us with more unanswered questions. Hence it is important to have a comprehensive and sex positive sex education for the future generations & even more important to support that change by starting NOW!
Growing up in a sex negative society puts an impact on the way we think and perceive sex as an individual. It takes years of learning and unlearning to find the wrong patterns and correct them.
There will be days when you'd feel you know a lot and then feel you know nothing at all.
That's okay. Just don't forget to keep learning and growing.