.png){kind=logo}
India was one of the first countries to have written text informing people about intimacy and sexual pleasure- also known as The Kamasutra. Sadly, there has been a huge cultural shift in our society now. Today, for every person who is comfortable with their sexuality, there is always that one desi aunty scrunching her nose and judging your entire existence. So, in a country where even the mention of one's sex life is hidden behind parampara, pratishtha, and anushasan, is there still a possibility of a change in people’s mindset?
BDSM, or Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, and Sadism and Masochism is considered to be one of the most alienated sexual practices. The emergence of the theme of BDSM in mainstream movies has created lots of misconceptions about what it is and isn’t. Most people link it to violence and forceful sexual activity. The reality, however, is quite different.
For centuries many cultures have practiced BDSM as a way to explore deeper levels of intimacy and consciousness. Unlike, popular belief, BDSM is about erotic sensation, power play and consent. Physical and psychological safety are the cores of BDSM. In reality, there is no Christian Grey forcing you to act out of your comfort zone. A large part of BDSM is vulnerability. Exploring new dynamics with your partner in a relationship builds a foundation of trust.
From our earliest stages in life, humans have been interested in exploring roles and boundaries that involve power, even while playing as children. When you give this a sexual angle in adulthood, we often try to steer clear of the concept and call it taboo. However, in adulthood, we have all the freedom to explore eroticism as a source of pleasure (with open communication and consent).
All we need is discussions and broadened mindsets towards new concepts. BDSM is not always accompanied by belts and handcuffs. Like other things in life, every person has a different take on how to practice BDSM and that shouldn’t be subjected to society’s judgments. It may not be the “conventional sex” but as long as it is a source of pleasure for the partners, it is completely normal. Exploring sensation through BDSM or any other sort of sexual practice can be a way of healing and self-realization for the partners.
As long as people are safe and indulge in consensual activities, there should be no room for labelling someone as “weird” or “broken”. Sexual desires and expectations differ from person to person and that doesn’t make ‘conventional sex’ the norm. It is high time we accept sexual desires, kinks and pleasure as a source of conscious satisfaction and healing. People should be free to explore their relationship. It's about time we acknowledge the importance of different sexual practices without any judgments and stigma. Let's make ancient India proud again!